In this bio, Florian Schneider will refer to himself in the third person. That way, he can write about his life as an endlessly important photographer, his countless and adventurous travels to exotic locales and his award-winning works, all without coming across as a shameless bragger.
Because it will appear as if someone else wrote this about him, as if Florian was most certainly important enough so other people write about his life and operations.
He will furthermore refer to his home as 'studio' and to his Mexican-born wife and soul mate as 'studio manager'. Who'll ever know?
He will also be sure to mention his European upbringing and his professional beginnings in London, as well as his trilingualism. Then he'll casually throw in his extensive journeys to Asia and, of course, his photographer-obligatory stays in Africa, which will round up his hemingwayesque artists' resume.
After that, he might ramble on for six paragraphs about his deeply philosophical approach to his craft, his intimate relationship with his subjects, his unique and complex understandings of 'painting with light and shadow', as well as his transcendent ability to connect with the universe beyond the limits of ordinary experience. He will continue to do so until the readers' attention has wandered well beyond the point of turning into a blurry haze.
Florian is currently working on some new and capricious personality features, to be exhibited in the very near future. Previously described by clients and crews alike as friendly, easygoing and laid back, such attributes are proving no longer suitable for an artist of Florian's magnitude. Fresh behavioral routines of unique eccentricity and difficult behavior are in the final stages of rehearsal before being premiered.
Naturally, Florian does not merely live in Los Angeles, but "currently divides his time between homes" in LA and every city and country he has ever lived in.